It’s me again!! I have had the pleasure of living with my favorite roadie for about a month now. It has been a month of adjustments and learning each other’s routines, quirks, and pet peeves. During this month I have realized that there may be other non-roadie significant others out there like myself that have found themselves in the same position. As non-roadies, we don’t have the ability to fully understand what it is like for them to adjust to being home full time again. I have confirmed these with Tyler to be very likely true for all roadies and he helped me come up with my last one. So, here are 5 warnings of what living with a roadie is going to be like and some tips that I have learned on how to deal with them.
*** Caution! While these may be true for my roadie, results may vary! ***
- Expect Noise
Roadies are normally surrounded by noise almost 24/7. They sleep on buses, in hotels, and the venues at times. Noise does not bother them, in fact, they need it. Tyler will always have the radio or the TV on. Sometimes both or even two TVs and the radio going. For some people this wouldn’t be a problem, but if you are like me, this is going to be a problem. Normally I keep the house quiet and calm. Me and Grant both do better with quiet. Noise can actually be a sensory overload very easily for me. Therefore, I almost never have music playing, and never have the TV playing while trying to go to sleep. If you are in my boat, just let them know. Find a balance together that works for the both of you, of noise and quiet. I always immediately turn off everything he has on the minute he leaves the house. Which leads to the next warning…
- They will leave everything on, all the time
When roadies are on tour they are staying in hotels or on the buses. Therefore, they don’t have to worry about turning off lights, the TV, locking the doors, or letting the shower run forever. That is what housekeeping is for. Maybe this is just a “my roadie kind of thing” but it is a thing. I am constantly going around the house turning off lights, the Alexa, the TV, and locking the doors at night. With this one, just give them time to adjust to not living in a hotel. Mine is slowly getting better about not turning on lights that he doesn’t need and turning the TV off before going to sleep. This could just be because I nag him all the time about leaving them on…
- Plans will change
Trust me. They will change. We always discuss our plans for the day and almost every single day something changes, or something doesn’t get done as planned. Roadies are daily having to change how they do things, or their original plans. They must think on their feet and be able to change course in order to get the job done because the show must go on. Since they are so used to plans changing in their normal day, it will carry into their lives at home. My tip is to learn to go with the flow. I have learned the best thing to do is to just shrug your shoulders, smile, and say “okay”. I picked this one up from Tyler’s mom who does this with Tyler’s dad who was also a roadie for a couple decades. Things will eventually get done and look beautiful. If you need something done by a certain time, just give them a deadline. Most roadies are used to having deadlines and doing everything to meet them. They’ll get it done, even if it means working 72 hours straight and skipping meals. Unless your roadie is like mine, mine is the one who creates the deadlines. If that is the case, just shrug your shoulders, smile, and say “okay”.
- They have no set schedule
Just like plans changing, their sleep schedules will also change constantly. When roadies are on tour, they don’t have set hours. It is not a set 9 to 5 job like most. Their day begins when they start load in and ends when load out is done. This means their day could begin at 4 am and not be over till well after midnight. This creates an odd sleep pattern. My roadie can spend some nights sleeping 12 to 14 hours straight and some nights only sleeping 4 hours. You never really know (neither do they until their head hits a pillow). If they are tired, they’ll go to bed. If they aren’t, they stay up and work on something. This is the same for when they eat. Dinner one night could be at a normal 5 or 6pm. Dinner the next night, like last night, could be at 9 or 10pm. You just never know. I don’t complain about this though because he does all the cooking and I don’t have to…I HATE cooking. This one is another give them time to adjust. You may also have to set certain times where they need to be quiet. Mine knows that after 9pm is quiet time because Grant is trying to sleep, he usually moves to the garage or switches to a quiet project if available.
- Random OCD Issues
This one…*Long, deep sigh*…This. One. My roadie is by no means a clean freak. Not saying he is messy, but he isn’t a clean freak either. Which normally is great because I am the same way. There are exceptions. Random, out of no where exceptions. For mine, it’s tools. His tools MUST go back into their place or else you will get nagged at. Every single time. Tools have their proper place in his world. When roadies are on tour, they are sometimes changing cities every day. For them to be able to do their jobs effectively, they need to know where everything is. Therefore, when you use something, you put it back into its place! This one, I understand. Makes perfect sense and I can live with it and accept it. Then there is his sink OCD…Let me explain. We don’t have a dishwasher, and our deal is he cooks, I do dishes. Normally I put all the dirty dishes throughout the day in the sink on the left side and then at the end of the day switch to the right side to wash and rinse in the left side and then into the drying rack on the left side of the sink. This is an issue to Tyler. We argue about this often. He refuses to put dirty dishes in the left sink because of “cross contamination” and I argue this just adds to my nightly dishes’ chore…. If your roadie also has random OCD issues like mine, I got nothing for that. When I come up with a tip for this one, I’ll let y’all know.
There you have it folks! Hopefully this helps you live in somewhat peaceful harmony with your roadie. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that this is all over sooner rather than later. This way, our roadies can get back on the road doing what they love and out of our houses!
Remember to just shrug, smile, and say “okay!”
-Caitlyn aka Pretty Lady
P.S. I’m considering doing a Q and A post so that you guys can get to know me a little better, and not just based on what Tyler says. Let us know if that interests you guys!