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CO 2020

7/1/2020 We’re on an Adventure!

July 1, 2020 by Tyler

There is almost nothing that can phase me while I’m on an adventure. Jeff can break down, storms can blow in and try to kill me, I can end up sleeping in sketchy truck stops… Doesn’t phase me a bit.

However the youngest member of my team needs 45 minutes to adjust to the idea that the seats fold down in Jackson. That being said, last Friday we packed up Jackson for his and Grant’s maiden road trip with A Man, A Jeep, No Real Plan.

This adventure stays true to the spirit of this blog. We have a rough outline, but nothing set in stone. We also are being joined on this trip by my parents, who normally go to the cabin this time of year anyways. Luckily the also embrace the “winging it” mentality…

So, on Saturday morning we embarked on what ended up being a 32 hour long stumble westward.

According to google, the trip is about 20 hours of actual driving. How did we spend the other 16 hours? Well there was some time spent betting my father that he couldn’t fit through holes in random objects. As of writing, he has not gotten stuck yet.

We also spent a good chunk of time trying to find open businesses that also have open bathrooms. I knew going into this trip we were going to have some issues due to covid-19, but I didn’t expect it to result in driving over 100 miles while having to pee because literally no where had a freaking bathroom.

The only other notable thing is the fact that it is damn near impossible to find a hotel with 2 rooms in Kansas on short notice. When it was determined that it was time to stop for the night, I started calling hotels in a town about 50 miles ahead of us. according to google there are 15 hotels in this town. The first 13 of them I called didn’t have a single room available… Hotel number 14 had exactly 2 rooms available, so I booked them from the road. Upon arrival at this establishment we were greeted by a loud party in the parking lot. Thankfully the walls in this hotel were more sound proof than one would expect.

On Sunday evening we arrived at the cabin just in time to unload the vehichles and put Grant to bed.

Monday was spent getting used to the altitude. In the morning we took Jackson out and got some dust on him in the morning. When we stopped Caitlyn got a bunch of photos, I only got two. The above one I am falling in love with. When I get my act together and start selling prints, this one is definitely going to be available.

The other one photo I got is also likely to be available. Once Caitlyn was done with her photos she came and found Grant and I as we explored the various different types of bugs found at high altitude. He loves the grasshoppers up here. Caitlyn does not… At any rate, I snaged this photo as they were walking away and he was telling her all about the grasshoppers.

Monday afternoon we went into town for lunch and to find better wifi. While Caitlyn worked on her school stuff, Grant and I went exploring the beautiful town that is Creede. There was a distinct lack of tourists and some of my parents favorite shops were closed due to Covid-19 (some of them temporarily, some permanently). Luckily for Grant, the old train is still in the small park, and that is all of the exploring he cared to do. Mom and I ended up tag teaming who’s turn it was to play on the train and who got to go look in the shops.

Tuesday morning Caitlyn and I left the Tiny Terrorist with my parents and took Jackson out to play. We drove him on several 4×4 trails, the most challenging of which was up to Ghost Lake. I am proud to say that Jackson was able to go everywhere I wanted him to, even a few places that Caitlyn would rather I hadn’t tried. That being said I am still confident that Jeff can kick Jacksons ass. Eventually we will let them play together and find out.

Jackson wasn’t the only one to get to play on Tuesday morning. I wasn’t at 100% yet, but I was close enough to do some climbing. Nothing too major, just climbing ontop of some 20 foot bolders… It took the wind out of me…

You see, the cabin sits at about 9,000 feet above sea level. To give you some perspective on that the tree line (altitude where the air is too thin for trees to grow) is around 12,000 feet above sea level. So the air is a bit thin around here to say the least and over doing it before your body adjusts is a legit fear.

Another fear up here is wildfires. On Tuesday afternoon we picked up the little man and headed towards the scorched remains of The West Fork Fire Complex of 2013. This fire consisted of three seperate fires that were started by lightning. The individual fires were the West Fork Fire, Windy Pass Fire, and Papoose Fire (between the three fires over 110,000 acres was destroyed).

I have to tell you, walking through the destroyed forest 7 years afterwards is eary, as you can see above, its beautiful but unsettling. If I were to have an exhibit of these photos it would be called “Remains of the Temple”. My words just can’t do justice to what I saw.

On our way back from the fire area we stopped at this beautiful lush lake and hiked around a bit. I think the best part was watching the look on mothers of small children as the realized the genius of putting a bell on your preschooler while out in the wild. It’s great, Tiny Terrorist gets to free range in the wilderness, and we always know he is within ear shot and where he is without needing to hover.

At any rate, as the moon started to rise over the mountains, and the sun still beat down on us, we decided to call it a day and head back to the cabin.

Stay tuned for Caitlyn’s takes on our adventures and for the rest our adventures. We will be here for another 10 days and I think we all know that is plenty of time for me to have a few adventures!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: adventures, Burnt forest, CO 2020, country roads, Creede CO, Jackson, road trip

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

June 23, 2020 by Tyler

Since my last post I have been struggling to make another… I try to write at least twice a week, as much to have some quiet introspective time to reflect on my adventures as to entertain everyone… Well it’s been radio silent for two weeks for many reasons.

I mean yes I have been doing boring “adult things”, but also I’ve been in kind of a funk. This funk has resulted in some mild insomnia and some SERIOUS writers block. So, I am taking advice that is often incorrectly attributed to Ernest Hemingway, “Write drunk , edit sober”. Fun fact while he was a notorious drunk, he always wrote sober. That being said, this evening I am not sober and I make no promises to sober up before editing is complete.

About a week ago I was up late watching TV and I suddenly realized that there were engines idling outside my window. I pulled back the curtains to see flashing lights, stopped traffic, and… two sheriff deputies parked in my driveway. So of course I did what any rational adult would do… I turned on the porch light and asked the officers if I needed to give my attorney a heads up about anything…

The good news is that they were not here to see me. The bad news is that my road was shut down by 4 sheriff deputies, 2 state troopers, an ambulance, and a fire engine… There was no accident, no fire, nothing to indicate that there was a problem other than the large contingent of emergency services… Why were they stopping traffic? I shit you not, when I asked, I was told, and I quote, “redneck stabbing at the boat ramp.”

Apparently there had been a massive brawl at the boat ramp near where I live that resulted in someone getting stabbed. Due to the remote nature of where I live, the authorities take a while to show up. So they decided to set up road blocks to try and catch involved individuals who were fleeing the scene.

So, I poured myself a drink and watched the chaos. When they finally decided to start allowing the normal flow of traffic, they had four cars full of people being detained and god only knows how many people they caught still at the ramp…

Over the next few days I discovered that the local newspaper doesn’t care what happens out here… or at least not enough to mention the chaos. So all I know is that there were some rednecks who got into a disagreement. I’m choosing to believe it was over whether Bud Light or PBR is better, but someone got stabbed…

Speaking of chaos, the house renovation is still underway. We are officially over half done with redoing the siding. Which honestly I can’t wait to be done with, I mean yes it’s hard work, and it’s hot, but… I am allergic to something in these walls and I basically work as long as I can handle, and then do nothing for 3 days while I wait for the rash to stop itching. As soon as the rash goes away, I dive back in like the idiot I am. If this doesn’t prove my unwavering dedication to making this damn place my own, then I don’t know what will.

I should also mention that my Dad is just as vested in this project as I am and it may be the Jack and Coke talking, but he deserves some recognition on how colossal of a DIY we are thus far successfully doing. So in the spirit of Fathers day (which I totally did not forget), thanks for diving down this rabbit hole Dad. It’s all your fault on multiple levels, but I think I can mark “have a grand adventure with dad” off my bucket list.

On the being a father front… This year Pretty Lady and Tiny Terrorist recognized me on fathers day. I mean they would have last year, but it just didn’t feel right to me.

Grant is without a doubt my son. If you know me, you know I can get scary angry from time to time… Apparently “papa bear” mode makes that angry look like a disgruntled puppy… As his former daycare can attest, I don’t just burn bridges, I reroute entire fucking rivers if you mess with my kid. If you weren’t told I was his step dad, you wouldn’t know. He calls me daddy, has my mannerisms, my temper, and allegedly looks like me (apparently we both are fucking adorable, I don’t know…)

I am the only father he has ever known and the gravity of that responsibility blows me away. It doesn’t matter what happens between Pretty Lady and I, Grant has chosen me and I have chosen him.

Some times, he points at me from across the room and I point back. then he’ll run up to me, and I catch him mid jump, turn him upside down and we run around the room squealing. This embarrasses Pretty Lady when it happens in Lowes… but she picked me, and he doubled down. Thus the above adorable photo of him watching me do questionable things on an extension ladder, and worshiping the ground that I would have landed on if I screwed up…

Speaking of screwing up… I have gotten fat… like over 210 pounds of sitting on my ass eating nachos for breakfast fat… I blame a lot of things for this. I mean being in a management role for the last 2 years didn’t help, but mostly I think it’s my indestructible self imagine that has allowed me to get this round. I mean, yes I can balance my drink on my gut while doing the macarena, but I am confident that I can still out climb the average joe and I dare an individual who has worked for me to try and out work me.

Why am I admitting to getting fat? Well, the climbing gym reopened recently and then temporarily closed again, but for the 2 weeks it was open, I was going every other day and while my hands hurt more than they used to, and I definitely was gasping for air, I was still climbing at a level that would be considered respectable. That being said before they reclosed I realized that my fat ass needs to get back into shape if I’m going to live long enough to hear the tiny terrorist’s grand kids bitch about the way I’m rebuilding this house.

You know, goals like that may be why I have the outlook I currently have. Pretty Lady and I were shopping recently and the salesman asked what I do for work. I told him I’m currently unemployed due to covid-19, but I’m not worried about it. We chatted a bit, and he commented that he’s never met an unemployed person who was so nonchalant about it.

I’m not nonchalant about being unemployed. I just don’t base my value on having a gig. I am more than a job. I’m a father, a spouse, a climber, a bourbon snob (with a weak spot for jack and coke), and a bad ass self made individual. Am I privleged by gender and race, yes! But at the end of the day I am proud of what is mine, what I have accomplished, and what I know I can do. So I’m going to control the controllable, enjoy my life, and anyone who judges me for not being a slave of the man can choke on a dick (or whatever genitalia they prefer)…

Sorry, writing drunk… At any rate, I now am on a strict diet, using the home gym at least twice a week, and striving to be in better shape than the dad at Grants day care who has to be using performance enhancing drugs. Seriously, no one over the age of 30 has muscles like that without some chemical help… I wonder if he actually is 30? Am I older than him? Is that diet coke in my drink? Who mixed me an old man drink?

On the topic of older, I am proud to announce that Jeff is officially an older brother. Caitlyn purchased a 2014 Jeep Wrangler. His name is Jackson (after Andrew Jackson) and Jeff is ready to play “follow the leader” and get his younger brother stuck. We have only had one adventure with General Jackson so far, but he is a solid jeep despite his abundance of plastic parts and underpowered V6 engine.

That being said, we will be putting him to the test on my next adventure. On this coming Saturday, we are embarking on a 2 week long trip to Colorado and we are taking General Jackson.

Pretty Lady, The Tiny Terrorist, and I are headed to Mineral County Colorado with my parents for a family “vacation”. I plan on putting General through his paces and proving that we should have taken Jeff, so what if his AC doesn’t work, Jeff is still the superior jeep…

So, please follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and of course here. We will be doing multiple updates a day on the Instagram and Facebook, and a few posts a week on here.

Would you like an email every time I post something? Would you like to get exclusive content like teasers of the book I’m writing? If the answer is anything short of “Hard Pass” please sign up and prepare to enjoy updates and exclusive content!

Would you like to hire me to write for you? Please email me at amanajeepnorealplan@gmail.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: CO 2020, Drunk ramblings, Fatherhood, General Jackson, Home remodling, Red Neck Stabing

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