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33 Years of Bad Ideas

33 Years of Bad Ideas

June 4, 2020 by Tyler

Today is my 33rd birthday, and honestly I only care because I can leverage it for an adventure. I have never been really big on birthdays, I mean I literally missed my own 22nd birthday and didn’t realize it until 4 days later when I hopped on FB and saw all of the well wishes. Suddenly all of the missed calls from my mom made sense…

At any rate, I used my birthday as an excuse to drag Pretty Lady on an adventure. I mean seriously, just look at Jeff, doesn’t he look like he’s ready for a good time?

As with all of my adventures, the weather was pure and total shit when I left Bloomington.

Needless to say our departure on Friday took a bit longer than planned on Friday afternoon. Caitlyn was a tad bit skeptical of this whole no reservations, winging it style of mine. Add in a good dose of my ever growing repertoire of “dad” jokes and I am lucky to have survived to the county line.

The drive to the Smokie Mountains was an eventful one. We stopped several times for snacks, gas, to stretch our legs, and for snacks. The most eventful stop was in Southern Kentucky.

I do not have any photos because Pretty Lady wouldn’t let me. That being said, the line for the ladies room was a spectacle. There was a woman in her 30’s who was legitimately sucking on a pacifier. Another individual was a stoned early 20’s girl who didn’t understand that the gas station didn’t have fire wood. She also kept asking if they had a fire stick, which according to this girl is a fake log that you set on fire and it burns for hours. It is not to be confused with a fire starter, she was adamite. The cashier ended up telling her to try the Tractor Supply down the road, they might have a “fire Stick”. There were also several other ladies in line, but those two were very note worthy.

Once we got down to the Smokies, the goal was to find a campground. The US Park Service websites were useless when it came to figuring out what was and wasn’t open. I found one ahead of time that was a first come first serve deal, but it was the furthest away. So we opted to just drive around checking the campgrounds until we found one that was open or made it to the furthest one. Around 10pm we admitted defeat without making it to the last campground (it was probably full anyway) and checked into the Hampton in Gatlinburg. It was not something I would have done solo, but I knew that Pretty Lady was already a bit on edge about the whole “no plan” thing, so we took full advantage of my Diamond Status and got a suite on a steep discount for the night. The next morning we got our Covid-19 mandated “to-go” breakfasts and found out about a private campground not too far away. So we set out.

On the drive I found a pull off with a road side waterfall. So of course I had to go check it out.

Pretty Lady was not as adventurous… but I know she got some great photos (her take on the trip will be coming out soon!)

The Greenbrier Campground was glamping… I mean the basket ball court and playground don’t bother me. The marble bath house, pool table and very nice custom corn hole boards were a bit much for me. Also, I don’t think I’ve been asked if I wanted to attend church so many times since I tried to date a evangelist…

Once our campsite was set up we hiked up to Rainbow Falls. Pretty Lady may not have been the happiest hiker on that mountain, but she pushed through like a champ. To be fair, according to the sign, it was only a 2.6 mile hike one way. Yet some-how our Fitbits tracked us doing 7.3 miles round trip. So lets be honest, there was some cursing, some threatening, and at one point I thought cannibalisms might be on the table, but we made it!

The entire hike, everyone we passed told us that it is worth the hike. A few of them gave landmarks so we’d know how far we had left to go. Several of them even used the tried and true “Mile, Mile and A Half” response. I knew this translates to “I have no freaking clue how far it is, but it’s doable.” Caitlyn however did not understand why I chuckled at this backpacker joke. Just for the record, she does not think it’s funny. That being said, the hike was totally worth it!

The hike back down was a beautiful one and our spirits were a tad bit higher. So we stopped several times to take photos and also to soak our feet in the stream. The water was freezing, but felt amazing!

The next morning we leisurely broke down camp while the church service was going on about 100 feet away. I want everyone to take a look at this couple’s sleeping bag we picked up for the trip. Pretty Lady and I have battled over blankets before, but try being trapped in a sleeping bag with your partner… lets just say we took the whole “laying diagonally across the bed” discussion to a new level.

On our drive over to our daily adventure we managed to snap a photo of the mountain we climbed the day before.

Our adventure for the day was taking a “Double Ducky” down the Nantahala. A double ducky is basically an inflatable kayak made for two. This was Caitlyn’s first time doing white water. This was my 5th or 6th time on this particular river, so she agreed to give it a try since it was my birthday. She was absolutely certain that she was going to die. I am happy to report that not only did she survive, she enjoyed it. Side note, we will be borrowing a canoe and heading out to the lake for some lessons on proper paddling techniques.

That evening we ended up in another campsite I wouldn’t normally have chosen… a KOA. That being said, this one wasn’t that bad. I mean yes we were basically camping on top of the neighbors, but otherwise it was fine.

On the final morning of our adventure, we didn’t know what our plans were going to be, just that we needed to end up back in Bloomington, IN.

So we stopped at a cavern on our way out of town. It was a fun tour, but honestly trying to get decent photos was probably what I enjoyed the most. Especially since Pretty Lady wouldn’t make out with me when they turned the lights off to show us how dark it can be…

The drive home was a good one. We made it home in one piece, still like each other, and I think Pretty Lady now understand a little bit more about why I like to have the kinds of adventures I do!

Also, please note that we are still running the one liner competition on our Facebook. If you really want me to have a happy Birthday you should hop on there, share this post, and enter in the competition!

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Would you like to hire me to write for you? Please email me at amanajeepnorealplan@gmail.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 33 Years of Bad Ideas, couples adventure, road trip, She still likes me, smokies

5/26/20 Planning, Planting, and Still Working on the House

May 26, 2020 by Tyler

Hello All! Brace yourselves, Pretty Lady and I are going on an adventure this coming weekend. The plan is pretty fluid, especially since campgrounds aren’t open in KY yet, but we will be departing for Mammoth Cave on Friday afternoon, and then heading on to Great Smokey Mountains National Park. This is going to be our first adventure together with Jeff, so expect there to be some serious entertainment! I don’t think we’ll be doing daily posts on here, but we’ll be posting on our facebook and Instagram.

The Tiny Terrorist has also been practicing for road trips. I really don’t understand how he can sleep in the positions that he does, but he is a pro! Unfortunately he will not be joining us on this adventure, but we are also planning a 2 week long trip out west and he’ll be on that one.

I’ve spent some serious time in the last few days setting up my garden. Unfortunately my father was right and it was too wet to till the areas. That being said, I was already late planting for the season, so I just put down some cardboard and hay and went for it. I also took a couple of livestock panels and bent them into an arch for my green beans and cucumbers to grow up. When it’s all said and done, I’ll have tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, green beans, potatoes, onions, carrots, and watermelons this year!

I’ve also made progress on the house. We stripped the old siding and underlayment off of the exterior wall above the roof and replaced it with OSB and cement board. As soon as I get it painted it’ll be time to start on the trim for the backside of the house! So soon, we’ll get to actually see what the outside of the house is going to look like!

Would you like an email every time I post something? Would you like to get exclusive content like teasers of the book I’m writing? If the answer is anything short of “Hard Pass” please sign up and prepare to enjoy updates and exclusive content!

Would you like to hire me to write for you? Please email me at amanajeepnorealplan@gmail.com

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 33 Years of Bad Ideas, Home remodling, Plans, tiny terrorist

5/13/20 Alcohol and Fire Don’t Mix, A Birthday Trip, and a Business Plan?

May 13, 2020 by Tyler

So from time to time when in the DeLong Tavern (a.k.a. A Man, A Jeep, No Real Plan World Head Quarters, also known as my garage) enough adult beverages are consumed that poor choices are made. Due to this well known fact Pretty Lady has issued some guidelines. Guidelines include things like no power tools once the third beverage is mixed, no betting on any “stupid human tricks”, if it makes me giggle for more than 5 seconds… we must wait for adult supervision before trying it, and most importantly I do not get to decide who counts as adult supervision. Oh, and as of a few nights ago, no accelerants are permitted while starting a fire once the second beverage has been mixed.

To be fair, the first time we, yes we, I do not drink alone, but yeah, the first time tried to start the fire, it did not start due to the fact that there was no small dry wood, only old wooden siding, gasoline, and it was raining. So an unnamed party decided to poor more gas on the fire when they thought it was out. Well, it was not out, so the can caught and was thrown. At which time I went into the Delong Tavern and came out with a packing blanket in hopes of smothering the now flaming gas can. It did not work… At this point in time we determined that it wasn’t going anywhere, so we’ll just let it burn out. Upon going inside I am proud to announce that I told Pretty Lady all about the incident and requested that she ignore the scorched mark in the lawn when she saw it the next day.

Unfortunately when she saw it the next morning, I was immediately put in time out. I want it to be known that just like the Tiny Terrorist, I did my time and upon release immediately started looking for some different shenanigans.

With things starting to open up, I have decided that my first adventure will be happening the weekend before my Birthday. Pretty Lady and I are going to leave the Tiny Terrorist behind and spend a long weekend trying to score some adventure points in Kentucky and Tennessee. This Adventure will be celebrating my birthday and will be known as “33 Years of Bad Ideas”

Speaking of bad ideas, I’m trying to figure out a way to make my adventures a tad bit more economically friendly. I am contemplating several different angles. I could start charging to access to the archives, but that’s really not my style. I could start selling advertising on the site, but it’ll probably be a cold day in hell before I do that. I could sell bumper sticker space on Jeff though… I may have to look into that one. Another idea is the fact that I do have some swag I made for myself… I mean all I have at the moment is bumper stickers like the above…

But I do have literally thousands of photos that I could have prints made of to sell… I could also do things like coffee mugs, shirts, posters, and other swag… Or I could take my adventures and write a book… I am kind of torn between selling swag and writing a book. Perhaps I’ll do both? Or maybe I’ll write a book and give away the bumper stickers? I don’t know… But if you see a store pop up on the site, no it’s not a scam.

Days Unemployed: 55

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: 33 Years of Bad Ideas, Adulting fail, adventures, bad idea, Book Writing, DeLong Tavern, Fire, Prints

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